By now, most of us have dropped off our children at school for the start of a new year. School beginning is a strategic juncture at any age, but especially so for those who are transitioning into boarding for the first time. Here is some advice I have given to my students- and their parents -over the years. I hope you might find some of it useful for your child’s circumstances.
Academic
- Don’t overstress our children. Yes, our children will need to get As for most, if not all, of their courses. But that might not be the right message to send across at the beginning of their boarding school transition. For now, let’s keep the pressure only to ourselves. The first step is to make sure our children adjust to their new environments successfully.
- Back to basics. Academically, that means basic survival skills such as remembering when homework is due and when quizzes are given. It might sound surprising, but every year, I would have at least one student who would forget to either do homework or prepare for a quiz. The problem usually stems from not listening well in class: not knowing there is homework or a quiz to begin with. Besides paying attention in class, many students would find it helpful to have a “buddy” for each class, someone to cross-check information with.
- Add-drop period. It is highly likely that our children will find some of their classes quite manageable while others more challenging. It is always a good idea to err on the side of caution: don’t be too ambitious. If an honors class is too difficult, switch back to the standard level. If six classes are too demanding, drop one. Getting 5 A’s is always better than getting 6 A-‘s. As a general rule of thumb, our children should be able to manage their academic demands with only 70% of their time.
Extracurricular
- Get involved. This is where the other 30% goes: activities. Most schools would host their club fairs sometime within the first few weeks of the school year. Pay attention to the date and time of such a fair. It happens only once a year, so don’t miss it! Ideally, students should scan through the club list in advance and circle out those clubs that are more interesting. We might not have enough time to visit each booth, so make the most of the occasion.
- Be realistic. Feel free to sign up for as many clubs as we want, but please remember to pare them down to a manageable number after trying out their initial meetings. Just like academic classes, it’s always better to be very engaged in a few activities than not very engaged in many.
Social
- Know people. The whole point of going to a boarding school is to learn how to network. Growing academically is a given; the real growth is on the social and personal side. It’s hard to succeed in life without the ability to lead, and it’s hard to talk about leadership if we cannot first make ourselves known. Reaching out is the foundation step to any success. The easiest way to know people is through classes and activities, and one of the easiest ways to grow those relationships is through mealtimes. All students eat three meals a day. If we can manage to eat with different groups of friends at different meals, our network can multiply quickly.
- Learn to accommodate. Most boarding schools pair their students with a roommate for a reason. One of the life lessons for any young adult to learn is that life doesn’t have to revolve around ourselves. Living with a stranger trains our children to learn this life skill quickly. Be nice to our roommate. Accommodate to each other’s needs. A roommate’s support is critical to building a successful reputation in school.
Personal
- Sleep matters! Boarding school life is a zero-sum game of study, play, and sleep. Again, don’t be too ambitious and end up sleeping 4 hours each night. It would not be sustainable, and we would eventually burn out, physically and mentally. Time management is key. And sleep is critically important for a child’s physical and mental health.
The beginning of the school year is a strategic time. Having a strong start is half the race. Enjoy the journey ahead!
-Daniel
Originally shared 2024.09.05 on Daniel’s personal blog.
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