Parent’s Weekend – Part 1

Parents enter a gothic academic building with their older daughter on a school visit.

Parent’s Weekend is here for most US-boarding school families. We will get to see our children very soon! For those parents who are still wavering, I strongly encourage you to go. It’s worth the effort. You’re reading the first installment of a two-part article that will help you make the most of this visit opportunity. Here in Part 1, let’s first consider what to do when we are at the school. Next week, we will discuss what to do when we are with our child.

With the Teachers

Each school will arrange a time for teachers to give feedback to the parents about their child. Depending on the exact arrangement at each school, some of these feedback sessions might feel like “speed-dating,” where parents are given only a finite amount of time with each teacher. So listen carefully and make the most of those few minutes together to discuss the most relevant topics. Aside from the usual letter grade (outcome), focus more on the fundamentals (process), like:

  • How attentive (or distracted) was my child usually during class? How well prepared was my child for each class?
  • How participative was my child in class discussions? Did my child usually speak when called upon only? How often would my child take the initiative to speak up?
  • How well could my child listen and respond to other’s views?
  • How collaborative was my child with his/her classmates? How well did they help one another?
  • How often did my child seek help after class? Were the questions about things s/he didn’t understand? Or were they about going the extra mile to learn beyond what was taught?
  • What struggles has my child experienced so far? How did s/he cope with them?
  • Overall, how much did my child enjoy learning this subject?
  • If there is one thing that my child should improve (or next work on), what would that be?

Again, the idea here is less about “playing the game” and more about equipping our child for life. Think about what they will need to succeed in the long run, and focus on building those skills piece by piece, one at a time. Get the process right, and the right outcome will follow.

With the Advisor/Coaches/Dorm Parents

Boarding education is never just about academics. There is so much happening on the social and personal fronts. Consider discussing:

  • How participative was my child in the weekly advisory sessions? What have you guys talked about? Any issues you might have noticed in my child?
  • How hard did my child try in his/her sports practice?
  • How well did s/he collaborate with his/her teammates?
  • How involved was my child in the dorm’s social events?
  • How well did my child do his/her part in the dorm duties?
  • How well did my child get along with his/her roommate?
  • What type of friends did my child usually hang out with? Who are my child’s closest friends?
  • What type of extracurricular activities is my child most active in? How did my child usually spend his/her weekends?
  • How well has my child adjusted to boarding life? How happy was my child?
  • If you were to give one advice, what would that be?

Again, focus on the fundamentals; lay down a solid foundation. The “profile” and “leadership” stuff will come.

With Other Parents

Network, network. Get to know who the other parents are, especially the parents of our child’s closest friends. Get to know one another. Share contact info; plan future events together, even. For example, it is not a bad idea to allow our child to spend the Thanksgiving break at the home of his/her close friend. In fact, I would often challenge our international students to try to look for a host family for their Thanksgiving break. That would give them an extra incentive to reach out further and build their circles faster.

Enjoy the trip!

-Daniel

Please share this article with anyone who might be interested. All boarding school parents are invited to join our Boarding School Mom’s Support Group on WhatsApp