The second week of October is here! By now, many new students either have just hit or will soon hit their one-month mark in their boarding school journey. It is about time for a pulse check on our children’s academics, and their experience. Most have by now received grades from a few homework assignments, papers, quizzes, and/or tests. There’s nothing definitive just yet, but from assessing these initial data points, the shape of our children’s first-term grades begins to emerge.
In American Boarding Schools, Every Point Counts
If you happen to be familiar with boarding schools in Britain, you might know that British schools tend to focus mostly on final exams for computing grades. Across the Atlantic on the other hand, American schools look at the entire process, from exams down to daily homework, including even class participation. Everything counts; there is no break in the American system.
Helping Students Respond To Challenges
When we speak to our children, we will, almost inevitably, start hearing about challenges in some of their courses. This is normal. That’s exactly what we signed them up for: they should feel challenged academically. Their studies should not feel like a walk in the park. Growth comes from overcoming those challenges and climbing out of them thriving. Encourage time management, saying no to distractions, focus, reaching out to teachers for help are the simple yet fundamental building blocks for success. Different children will require different amounts of time, but eventually, everyone will get there.
Stretched, but not Broken
If the school selection was done right, a child should feel stretched, but never broken. Our children need to be stretched in order to grow. No pain, no gain. But like rubber bands, they should not be stretched so much that the rubber band “breaks.” Boarding schools are, in a way, similar to a foundry or a refinery: they turn up the heat, burning off the impurities and leaving behind pure gold. But every child’s stress-tolerance level is different. We need to make sure our children don’t get melted down. This is where the concept of “fit” comes in. Not too easy, not too tough; just the right amount of stretch. In the end, we want our children to feel confident and upbeat, not defeated, in their ability to handle life ahead.
Get the Full Picture
If we have not yet done so, we should start reaching out to our child’s advisor and getting a second opinion on how our child is really doing. Children tend to “whine” in front of parents, telling them one-sided stories. But remember, children are more resilient than we think. There is likely another side of the story that we might not be hearing in our regular calls. No need to overreact. October’s parent weekends are just around the corner. If we can afford the time and effort, I strongly encourage all parents to attend to not only see our children but also speak to the teachers and better understand the overall school environment.
-Daniel
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